To my wife,
Preface:
This is going to be sort of a new thing for me. To write my inner-most thoughts to you, more than on just a love note to make your day or on an anniversary or birthday card. I am not sure I feel this is going to be difficult, because well it’s not, it’s just going to be new and different. But I want to do this because I know two things; it will help me process things and get my thoughts out to you, and it will help you understand me. If ive learned anything recently, its that we need to understand each other and really open up about what we really think and feel. And understand each other means many things, but its the gateway to a better us; and thats all I really want.
I TRUST YOU BECAUSE….
I trust you because….deep down I know you truly want what is best for me, as an individual, as a husband, and for us as a couple. I cant help but think about our marriage vows we said a year and a half ago. When I think of trust-I think of our vows that we wrote together for each other.
“I promise to you perfect love and perfect trust…”
I love this line. This was one of the last lines we said several times in our vows to each other. We promised each other our lives, our souls, our love, our commitment, and our trust from that day forward. A vow and a promise is a weighty thing. Its not to be taken lightly-not that I think we have in anyway, Im just saying its a big deal. And these things we promised to each other on that day.
Perfect trust. We are not perfect. I am no where near perfect. I think I can safely say that when we wrote these words, we did not mean perfect as one hundred percent and zero failure is allowed. Perfect trust and perfect love meant that in all situations and at all times, we are striving, with our whole-self, to perfect trust. Our actions, our words, our thoughts, our life should exemplify this constant striving. This reach to be the best person. To be the best spouse we can possibly be. This is what perfect trust is.
When I look at our relationship, our marriage, the good times and the bad; you have consistently been trustworthy. You constantly want the best for us. You want and strive to be the best for us. When we are disconnected and not seeing each other eye-to-eye, you have proven to me that I can trust that in all situations, you are atleast striving for the best. Thats what you want. Even though we may say hurtful things, be rude, yell, be silent and not talk, avoid each other; this still does not break my trust with you. Because even in those raging arguements and extended periods of silence, I still know that all you really want is what is best for us. In the long term and right then at that moment. That to me is perfect trust.
In all the rough times we have had, all the arguements, and all the disagreements; there is one thing that I know deep down even amidst the anger and frustration and hurt feelings; its that I can trust you whole-heartedly. Honestly, when I think about it, there really isnt anything you have done to break my trust with you. I many times think you are being rude, or un-caring, or un-loving in a situation, but in terms of trust, I feel I have been able to consistently trust you in all things.
You always want the best for us. I trust you because you have proven this to me and you have not broken this trust and promise as well. Situations and actions and words change, but at the heart of it, you show me every time that you still just want the best outcome for us as a couple and for us individually.
I don’t ever have to worry about your actions, your words spoken or un-spoken, or the places you go with co-workers or friends in regards to the opposite sex. There is nothing you have done to make me feel threatened or concerned about this. This is a huge relief that maybe I have never shared with you. You are beautiful and attractive. You are successful and smart. Why wouldn’t any guy not be interested if you. My point is, that in all situations I have been with you, you have proven to me that I am your one and only-and that you are not wavering in this. This allows me to fully trust you in the times when I am not with you.
You strive for us to make good life-direction decisions.You are not hasty in decisions. You have well thought out ideas and your reasons are not all emotion based, but have good, sound reasoning behind them. I desire for my wife to be someone who makes good decisions, with or without me. Sometimes I may not agree with the decision one hundred percent. In these times, you have shown me that you have good reasons for what you are doing or why you think that way. I wont agree with every choice or decision made, but what you have shown to me, and all that I want, is that you have good reasons for it. Sometimes it may just be a personal decision for you, but I still can trust that at that moment you are making the right choice. The best choice for you and for us now and down the road. This proves to me that you are trustworthy.
You want to be successful in your job and career and strive to do your best. You have proven to me that you make wise choices in regards to your work ethic, your quality of work is always good, your professional, and your ability to produce at such a high rate and caliber always amazes me. These things all prove to me that I can trust you.
In my career choices, even though I am super easy going, especially when I am frustrated at work, you have always pulled something out that is good. So that at the end of the conversation, I can atleast say, “…well thats true, I should be thankful for that.”You prove to me that regardless of my job situation, you want what is best for me. You want me to be able to see more good in the situation than dwell on the negative. This you have proven to me over and over.
I think a big thing with trust is that you are consistent. In these things you have proven to me that I can trust you. You truly have shown me perfect trust.
Love,
your husband
Read Lindsey’s post on her blog: I trust you because… and more Marriage Letters from other couples on the Runamuck blog.
Colin T Hedren 